CineBad!!!

This is the story of the Kelly Effect, a small-town rockin’ girl band that just wants to make it in the City of Fallen Angels, LA. The band’s frontwoman, Kelly, has a long-lost Aunt in LA with a $1,000,000 inheritance that Kelly might just get a cut of, if she plays her cards right, so the girls load up their beach van, and set out for stardom with their manager, (and boyfriend of Kelly,) the Jewishly cute Harris Allsworth.

Once they get to LA, the band gets discovered by Warholesque record producer Ronnie “Z-Man” Barzell, who talks like something out of a high school production of Hamlet. (This was actually really annoying and I almost gave the movie one green cheese just because of it.) He renames the band “The Carrie Nation” and they skyrocket to fame. Soon Kelly’s sleeping with playboy Lance Rocke, who’s even more determined than she to get a cut of the family inheritance. Kelly bats her eyelashes and looks all innocent and tries to seduce Aunt Susan’s lawyer, while Aunt Susan totally laps it all up and frets about whether to give Kelly a third or a half of the money.

There’s an attempted suicide, and for a while you think the movie’s about to end. But wait, there’s more! Up to this point, the film’s been fairly predictable, but now we have heartfelt, sobbing confessions (with sympathetic organ music) and magical walks through sylvan fields, and soft-focus camera lenses, and all sorts of cheesy stuff. Now you think the movie really will end, but wait, there’s still a psychotic killing spree that involves Nazi butlers and fake boobs! Yes, you read correctly! (I won’t go into details. Keep in mind that this film’s screenplay was written by Roger Ebert.)

The moral of the story? Well, just like The Carrie Nation’s hit single, “Look on Up (at the Bottom)” the higher their careers soared, the lower their souls sank. This is a nice 1960′s-style trash movie with a cute moral ending!

This is a fun corny movie that features big hairdo’s, polyester suits, homosexuality, decapitation, and psychedelic rockers The Strawberry Alarm Clock. The Carrie Nation is much better, though! Just wait till they lip-sync their way into your hearts!