CineBad!!!

Haven’t you always wanted to know what happens when superevolved Chimps from the 40th century fall through a time warp to the seventies? No? Well, they eat lots of oranges. The point of this movie seems to be to drive home the point that apes eat oranges. Apes eat oranges. In almost every scene, apes are consuming oranges. Another thing about apes is that they get drunk and pass out after about three sips of champagne.

This movie had every Hollywood convention: pop culture references, an evil bad guy with a German accent, a long, drawn-out chase scene, a baby, and a quadruple death scene, yet it was strangely boring. Perhaps if they had used more than three sets or written some actual dialogue. The apes don’t even speak for the first half hour, and as soon as Dr Milo delivers about four lines, he expires. Even the inexplicable presence of Ricardo Montalban wasn’t enough to save this one.