CineBad!!!

Just watching Keanu Reeves “act” is cheesy enough for my book. He made a brilliant Bill, in the demi-eponymous Excellent Adventure, but I just can’t take him seriously as anything else! Reeves stars as Johnny (no last name), an information smuggler of the year 2021. He has deleted the childhood portion of his brain’s memory in order to install a device that will allow him to upload information into his brain and store it in order to transfer it to another location. Now he’s carrying the cure to the disease known as “the Black Shakes” which is running rampant in the 2020’s. Of course, since the world is run by Big Corporations, a giant pharmaceutical company doesn’t want the information to get out, so Johnny has to get into a lot of shoot-outs and car chases. There’s even a crazy religious freak who goes around crucifying people with steak knives. He has a crucifix that’s a dagger on the end…gee, I’ve never seen this plot device before!

It Takes Henry Rollins, Ice T and a cyberimplanted blonde bodyguard to get Johnny out of this one! And the Deus ex machina factor is provided by a super-hacker who hacks into satellites and broadcasts messages for the people. This hacker was used by the navy to scramble enemy submarine radar. This hacker also happens to be a dolphin. In the final scene, Johnny, with the dolphin’s help, must ‘hack his own brain’ in order to get the information out and broadcast it to the world. The result is a Tron-esque computerscape as the cyberJohnny must do battle with the viruses put as booby traps inside his head to prevent him from accessing the information

This is a nice cheesy romp through cyberspace. If you like dismal visions of the future, this one is sure to please! In 2021, computers no longer have such antiquated devices as keyboards and mice. They are controlled by wearing leather fingerless gloves, which set up a virtual reality type control. The user must then make movements like he’s in a Devo video with his hands as he navigates through the Internet of 2021, which looks like a Super Nintendo game gone haywire. Very cheesy!