CineBad!!!

This sci-fi/fantasy film almost has it all. It has a friendly cyclops, a beautiful princess in peril, a little boy, a wise old wizard, a spider lady who lives in a giant web, and an army of spikily armored monsters. However, it lacks a plot. This doesn’t make much difference, however, because the dialogue and sets are so wonderfully cheesy it’ll leave you feeling satisfied enough.

I think the point of the movie is to rescue the princess and conquer evil, but there’s probably a universal hidden message that Joseph Campbell would pick up on. People are dressed in a D&D aficionado’s medieval fantasy wardrobe, yet the evil beings have laser guns and space ship technology. The Glaive, the ancient weapon of Good (a ninja-star type of thing) saves the day, but I won’t spoil the rest of the movie for you!