CineBad!!!

I debated reviewing this move, because it’s not really “bad.” It is however, extremely cheesy, and should prove extremely entertaining for the sick mind! Plus, when I discovered that Carol Kane had an uncredited appearance in Disney’s The Gnome Mobile (as, “Married Gnome,”) I knew that this movie belonged on the MGotD. Directed by that wacky photographer, Cindy Sherman, Office Killer is a vicious, gory fable about dehumanization in the modern business world.

Dorine Douglas (Kane) is a pathetic, mousey woman who lives with her crippled mother and works as a copyeditor at “Constant Consumer” magazine. She’s not particularly computer literate, but she’s worked for the magazine for sixteen years, and she knows when to use “which” instead of “that.” Norah Reed (Tripplehorn) is a sad, driven Yuppie who wants to bring the magazine “into the future.” The company is “downsizing,” and hardworking employees like Dorine are being cut down to part-time. Unfortunately, Norah is stuck being the harbinger of bad news.

Dorine must work late a night editing the next issue’s lead story on her new (actually totally outdated, but new to the company) computer terminal, when an unexplained error causes the machine to crash and make an annoying buzzing noise. The only other person in the building is Gary Michaels, a sleezy computer technician who yells at Dorine and generally throws a shitfit. Dorine escapes to the bathroom to have a good cry, and when she returns, she finds Mr. Michaels on his hands and knees, trying to fix the circuit that the computer is plugged into. He startles her, she jumps back, bumps into the circuit breaker, and Mr. Michaels is fried to a crisp.

Something inside Dorine snaps. Her father helped found this magazine, and now she’s being laid off. She’s seen Mr. Michaels, a married man, kissing Kim (Ringwald) the secretary, and she’s disgusted. Plus the new computer system has turned her from a competent copyeditor into a complete idiot. In a fit of pique, she stuffs Mr. Michaels’ body into the back of her Ford Duster and dumps him in her basement.

Now Dorine is out to get revenge! Norah’s on her bad list, because she helped engineer the downsizing, and she’s embezzling $58,000 from the magazine. Virginia, the chain-smoking, asthmatic business manager is in for it, too. Even Kim’s life is in grave danger. With each new kill, Dorine’s basement becomes a little cozier. “It’s all because of you, Norah,” says Dorine sweetly, near the movie’s end. “We’re home now. We’re all going to work at home.”

The cinematography in this movie is really beautiful, and reminds me of Delicatessen in its attention to detail. Some of the acting is a little lame, but Kane and Ringwald make up for it. Molly Ringwald is a really good actress! She’s great at playing self-absorbed, sarcastic valley girls. Plus the movie is just completely disgusting! Don’t miss Dorine murder someone with a tape dispenser, or clean a festering corpse with packing tape and Windex! This movie is a must for anyone who’s ever fantasized about replacing their boss’s asthma inhaler with aerosol glue!