CineBad!!!

Tony and Tia are baaa-ack! The film starts as Uncle Benet unleashes the alien duo on an unsuspecting San Francisco, to learn more about the human race. What better way to educate fourteen-year-old kids than to dump them in the middle of a major city, alone! Anyway, it doesn’t take long for Tony to get abducted by Bette Davis, who just happens to be cruising around in her limo, looking for some alien kid with psychokinetic powers to exploit. Bette plays Letha Wedge, a sort of rich, Cruella Deville-wannabe, bent on World Domination! Except that she’s really, really whiney. She has a mad scientist cohort (played by somebody semi-famous whose name I forget) who has developed a mind control thing. They attach it to Tony’s head, and suddenly, they can use his powers of levitation for Evil! He is their slave! (Oh, I’m sorry. I mean his power to “control molecular flow.”)

This is really convenient for the kid who plays Tony, because his dialogue basically ends at this point. Now, all he has to do is stare at things in an intense, psychokinetic way, and let the Vast Power of Disney’s blue screen department control the molecular flow for him.

Meanwhile, Tia gets bored and joins a street gang. A cute street gang, not an icky one. First she wanders down a dark alley and gets mugged by some eight-year-olds, which is guess must be kind of like Dana Plateau or some other child star knocking over the 7-Eleven that you work at. Tia levitates some garbage cans into their punk asses and the kids are so impressed, they take her in as one of their own. Now Tia stresses over how to find Tony, although she totally abandoned him as soon as he got kidnapped. (Guilt, perhaps?) So she stumbles around having periodic psychic “impressions” of his whereabouts, while the street gang take frequent naps and do other “cute” things designed to endear them to parents.

The movie reaches its dramatic climax as Letha takes Tony to the museum to rob like, a billion gold bricks that are on display. Tia catches up with him and the two have a psychokinetic show-down, with wacky mayhem as only Disney can deliver! Plus you get to see Bette Davis jump up and down and look all upset.

Will Tia rescue Tony from the grip of Letha Wedge? I won’t give away the ending, but she does convince a goat to bust through a wooden door. The movie actually ends in an about-to-explode power plant, which makes it a disaster film and a kiddie pic all in one! We had to scour three different video stores just to find this one, so rent it if you can!