CineBad!!!

If you thought the original Stepford Wives was draggy, never fear. This fast-paced made-for-tv movie combines all of the good elements of the original with a rollicking good time. It’s 10 years later in the sleepy hamlet of Stepford. Things are still Perfect. So perfect, in fact, that a tv journalist (Gless, aka That chick from Cagney and Lacey) comes to town to see what makes it tick. I can’t remember what her character’s name was in this film, and I can’t find it anywhere, so henceforth in this review she shall be known as Lacey.

After narrowly escaping death a few times, Lacey realizes that something weird is up in this town. Why do all the women act like Donna Reed on tranquilizers? Why do they all simultaneously take pills when a siren sounds? The women all inform Lacey that it’s because they have a ‘thyroid condition’ but that sounds fishy… Could it have something to do with the creepy Men’s Committee that seems to be behind everything?

Enter Andy (Johnson), a hard working guy who just wants to be a cop. He’s just moved to town with his wife (Kavner). I can’t remember her character’s name either, so let’s call her Marge. He loves it here in quiet little Stepford. However, Marge is a little creeped out by the place. She decides to join Lacey as her assistant. The two of them sniff out what’s going on…

Meanwhile, Andy has been absorbed into the Men’s committee. Now we see what’s really going on. In the decade since we last visited this sleepy little hamlet, they’ve developed new technology. Rather than killing the wives and replacing them with robot doubles, they now can just alter the women’s brains to make them want to behave like the servile powder puffs they all are. You see, the head of the Men’s Club is convinced that this is how women really want to be. They want to be frilly and feminine and have names like Muffin and Kitten, as well as have no other cares in the world besides caring for their husbands, picking out clothes, and shopping. It’s all for their own good.

Andy buys into this all and agrees to have Marge ‘get her hair done.’ Marge is taken to the Men’s Club building and into the ‘beauty salon’ where a big hairdryer that fries her brain is put over her head… Soon she’s the same as the rest of them!

Lacey saves her by making her not take her pills… she eventually freaks out in one of the greatest scenes in movie history. Can you imagine the voice of Marge Simpson jerkily flitting around the kitchen turning on appliances while discussing how to get the ‘musty summer smell’ out of the house? It’s worth it just for this scene!

Everything works out in the end, though, when Lacey and Marge sabotage the alarm system that makes the Wives flip out, and in a fit of feminism, stomp the Master of the Mens Club to death with their high heels.

This is way cheesier than the original! Since it was made-for-tv, it eliminates all the draggy parts! This is a MGotD must-see!