CineBad!!!

I didn’t actually see Speed I, but if it was anything like Speed II, then maybe I’ll fish $2.50 out of my piggy bank to rent it. Speed II has everything- a big boat in peril (watch out, Titanic!), explosions, people exclaiming “Oh shit!” for comic effect, an evil demented bad guy who loves the leeches he puts on himself for medicinal reasons and laughs demonically as he’s about to die, Sandra Bullock’s usual vapid yet deeply pouty character, and a lovable Scottish guy who tensely yet heroically counts down the number of knots the ship is slowing down in the face of adversity (watch the film to see how pointless this really is!)

Speed II functions as both a disaster movie and a high speed action-adventure picture. Watch as Sandra Bullock frees a bunch of trapped passengers by finding a conveniently placed chainsaw! Watch as Sandra’s boyfriend jumps onto the leg of a speeding seaplane! Watch the bad guy do high-tech insane bad guy things! Or not. It’s your choice.