CineBad!!!

The scariest thing about this movie is that I think the movie- makers thought they were making some sort of feminist statement by making it. Sure, it portrays strippers as being good, decent, hard- working ladies who just need a few bucks. But come on! Are we really supposed to believe that stripping is a woman’s only option in life when she’s fired from being a secretary? I’m in trouble then– my temp office assistant position is up in 3 weeks– perhaps I should invest in a sequined G-string with red, white, and blue fringe.

The other strippers are the best part of the film– there’s an Israeli stripper named Miss Gaza Strip who has a thing for Stephen Spielberg. She also relates the woes of nude falafel wrestling. Another stripper has a comic moment when the boa constrictor (named “Monty Python”) she loves and uses in her act is replaced without her knowledge and attempts to strangle her to death during a performance. Har har har! As you can tell by the aforementioned bits of hilarity, this film is a comedy. Yes, folks, a comedy about strippers and governmental corruption.

Unfortunately, Demi Moore, who doesn’t have a comic bone in her surgically altered body (I think even her funny bone was removed) didn’t realize the comic potential. She plays the part as if she were in a dramatic made-for-tv movie about child custody battles (another subplot of the film.) Burt Reynolds is delightfully campy as a dirty-old-man type corrupt politician, and Ving Rhames (”Do I look like I follow politics?” is his best line) always adds an interesting spin on films. However, Demi’s main function in the film was probably that she was the best pair of boobs available for the part at the right time. Most people probably saw Striptease to see Demi in her birthday suit, so I guess her acting ability doesn’t really matter.

The best thing about this film is all of the cheesy dialogue. Here is a sample: As Erin is about to expose Dilbeck (Reynolds,) she croons, “Give it to me like a man, a Congressman. When Erin dances nude for Congressman Dilbeck, she says “If I come back tomorrow, can we talk more about my case?” To which Congressman Dilbeck replies, “We can talk about anything you want, as long as you’re naked.” But wait! There’s more! When her boss tells her of his idea of having nude creamed-corn wrestling matches in his strip club, Erin says, “I don’t need a bunch of guys trying to shove corn up my hoo-ha.” The screenplay is priceless!

The ending is remarkably cheese-laden as well. Watch as the bad guys are captured by having a load of sugar dumped on their heads from a trapdoor in the ceiling. Doh! Foiled again! This film is thoroughly enjoyable to watch. It definitely scores many a cheese.