CineBad!!!

OK, I actually like Uma Thurman, despite what anyone else says. As ex-supermodels go, she’s a fairly good actress, and manages to bring a little wry humor into most of the roles that she plays. Unfortunately, I thought this movie pretty much sucked! This was yet another Hollywood attempt to take a charmingly lame old show and jazz it up with some snappy computer graphics. However, anyone who actually would be a fan of the original Avengers probably liked that show, in part, for its creative (and usually low-budget) props. I mean, it’s fine to create an “original” movie that does nothing but show off studio magic, but if you’re going to remake a cult phenomenon that’s already thirty years old, you should at least pay a little respect to the original.

OK, enough ranting. Uma and Ralph make a valiant effort to bring back the personalities of the original Steed and Peel, despite the lack of a plot, or any kind of interesting dialogue. In fact, they did a remarkable job considering how little they had to work with, and their rapport was definitely the best part of the film. Sean Connery as The Bad Guy is kind of ill-conceived… but whatever. He’s Sean Connery, so he gets to do whatever he likes, despite the fact that he’s kind of a self-absorbed dork. Patrick McNee (Mr. Steed the Original) makes a cameo appearance, and Eddie Izzard is always fun, too. But I’m giving this film three borings because I saw it on a long airplane flight, and even Mr. Steed and Emma Peel couldn’t keep me from nodding off once or twice.

All in all, I guess I just don’t like big-budget Hollywood effects. There’s something undeniably creepy about old black-and-white film stock and homemade props that you just can’t re-create with computer graphics. I understand that most people probably don’t share my viewpoint on this, but like I said– why remake the film at all, if you’re not going to comment on the original? At least Austin Powers, as much as it is just frat-boy humor, is somewhat of a satire on the old Bond films. And the Brady Bunch remake does nothing but poke fun at the original. Classic Cinema this ain’t, but at least the filmmakers were making some kind of a statement.