CineBad!!!

A train is speeding towards the famed Cassandra Crossing. This is the train trestle that people won’t live under for fear of its imminent collapse. This is the last bridge that many concentration camp victims saw in their lives. This is the bridge that we see in many 2 second close-ups of its rusting beams and creaking stock footage. So why is the train speeding towards it? The filmmakers thought perhaps it would speed up the plot. They were wrong.

So now enter a guy in an Aran sweater, who has just introduced the “Mnemonic Plague” (it helps you remember where you left your car keys) to the train. Although he may look like just another harmless Clancy Brother, the Swedish Terrorist enjoys touching and sneezing upon every baby and child he meets, thus infecting the entire train. The Plague causes welts and sweating, and eventually a quick, albeit painful death at the hands of the make-up artists.

It’s now up to OJ Simpson (the undercover priest) and Richard Harris to get the cake out of the rain and stop the train! Will they make it? Who’s at the heart of this international conspiracy? This is a disaster flick and spy movie all rolled into one!