CineBad!!!

This is my new favorite Disney movie!

Some rich English dude hasn’t heard from his son in two years and wants to find him! So he abducts some American guy who knows all about the Arctic and flies there in a blimp. I mean, he embarks upon an epic journey to find his lost son.

When they finally reach the North Pole, they find a tribe of lost Vikings who inhabit an island paradise that’s warmed by volcanic vents. This is the fabled island where whales go to die. The Vikings speak Norwegian, er, Old Norse, and wear pointy skullcaps. The rest of this movie then turns into a long chase scene, as our heroes leap blithely over streams of molten lava, swim through arctic rivers and go rafting on ice floes. There’s Freyja, the arctic babe, and Oomiak, the Eskimo guide who provides comic relief. There’s also Josephine, the French poodle blimp mascot, who gets to be cute from time to time. I was kind of hoping they’d get desperate and eat her.

This is definitely the pinnacle of Disney’s special effects crew. Never before has the blue screen been used so often and with such power! This movie was actually much, much cheesier than even I could ever have imagined.