What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

I may have been mean to my sister when we were kids, but I never tried to feed her a dead budgie. This is the story of two show-business sisters, “Baby” Jane Hudson (Davis,) a washed-up vaudeville child star, and her sister Blanche, (Crawford) a glamorous 30′s film star. One night Blanche is crippled from the waist down in a car “accident.” No one’s quite sure what happened, but it’s pretty clear that Baby Jane ran her sister over in a fit of pique. Now Jane must wait on her sister hand and foot, attending to her every need. Blanche is totally dependant on her sister, yet it’s her money that pays all the bills and rent.

Of course, Jane doesn’t exactly enjoy being Blanche’s nurse. When she discovers Blanche’s plans to sell the house, move out with her paid nurse and ditch Jane, Jane goes apeshit. How easy would it be to forge Blanche’s signature and keep cashing her checks? And if Blanche were conveniently out of the way, who would know?

So Jane sets about making Blanche’s life a living hell. Watch the sparks fly as Jane kills Blanche’s parakeet and serves it to her sister on a lovely bed of sliced tomatoes. Watch Blanche get upset and ring her buzzer. Watch Blanche starve and steal chocolates out of her sister’s bureau. Watch Jane try to revive her signing career with a con-man as her piano player. Watch Jane hit people with a hammer.

I can’t really describe this movie. If you’ve seen many Bette Davis films, you’ll know how good she is a playing creepy old ladies. This really takes the cake, however. Joan is cast against type as a whiny, perpetually naive and sweet older sister. She wheels herself around looking scared and upset and ringing her buzzer a lot. Now, if you were confined to a wheelchair, wouldn’t you insist on living on the first floor? The Hudson Sisters are ultra-rich, yet they can’t afford one of those electric chairs that climbs stairs for you. You’d think that Blanche would at least make certain she’d get out of the house once in a while.

But Blanche has a deep, dark secret that’s causing her to be such a whiney nincompoop. Don’t miss the ironic surprise ending.

I think this movie was technically supposed to be a horror movie, but you can’t help but chuckle the whole way through. This is one of those films that everyone quotes, yet we had to visit three different video stores in two different cities to find it. Watch Joan Crawford torture her children in Mommie Dearest and then chase it with Baby Jane.