Masters of the Universe

Dolph Lundgren has always been one of the world’s greatest and most underrated actors. Here he gets to show his tender side as He-Man, battling Skeletor, and saving the kingdom of Eternia.

Along the way, he brings a scantilly-clad Teela, her dad, Gwildor the dwarf (they didn’t have the budget for that flying ghost thing in the cartoons, just Billy Barty–RIP). Their quest is to find the Cosmic Key, a glowing contraption that harmonizes the universe with its dulcet casio-tones.
The band of Eternians tracks the Cosmic Key to earth, where they meet Julie (Courtenay Cox, in between her acting debut in a Bruce Springsteen video and “Friends”) and Kevin (the future Tom Paris of Star Trek: Voyager). Hilarity and adventure ensue as Skeletor and his band of scary action-figures badly translated into real-live characters pursue them. There is even a poignant moment or two when Skeletor uses Julie’s weakness–her love of her parents who died in a plane crash– to get to her to betray her new oddly-clothed extra terrestrial friends.

The best moment is near the end, when Skeletor, clad in his Spencer-Gifts quality skeleton mask eloquently and dramatically delivers his Shakesperean last soliloquy:

People of Eternia! I stand before the Great Eye of the galaxy. Chosen by destiny by the powers of Greyskull! This inevitable moment will transpire before your eyes, even as He-Man himself bears witness to it. Now. I, Skeletor, am Master of the Universe! YES! Yes… I feel it, the power… fills me. Yes, I feel the universe within me! I am… I am a part of the cosmos! The power flows… Flows through me! Of what consequence are you now? This planet, these people. They are NOTHING to me! The universe is power! Real, unstoppable POWER! and I am that force! I am that power! KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER! Fool! you are no longer my EQUAL! I am more than man! MORE THAN LIFE! I… am… a… GOD! Now. You… will… KNEEEEEL! KNEEEEL!

It brought tears to my eyes. Actually, this whole movie did.

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