Yor, Hunter From the Future

yor.jpgOK OK, I realize that it’s cheating to watch this sort of movie and review it on a cheesy movie website. I mean, finding the cheesiness in Yor, Hunter From the Future is kind of like shooting sleeping elephants at the zoo–you don’t need very good aim. We here at Cinebad strive to find the corny and cheesy in every movie, not just those low-budget fantasy flicks whose dialog could have been penned by the old Chinese guy who works at the liquor store down the street from me who is partially deaf and speaks no English.

Anyway, this movie touches upon “deep” topics, such as nuclear annihilation. You don’t realize this until the very end, but the message is there. Nuclear holocasuts are bad. Don’t let yourselves blow each other up, kids! Otherwise, you’ll be forced to live in stone-age level nomadic bands, wearing nothing but butt-reavealing animal skins, bad wigs, and battling dinosaurs all day.

Yor (played by Reb Brown) is our protagonist. He looks like a really built Dana Carvey, complete with his blond, unkempt wig from Wayne’s World. He is the mighty hunter (though he’s not technically from the future, but whatever. Details!) who goes around accidentally getting each tribe of people annihilated by accident. He’s actually trying to help them, but in the battle, he ends up running away with his chick and her father, leaving the rest of the tribe to be swept away by rivers, eaten by dinosaurs, killed by laser blasts or whatever. Sometimes he just kicks their asses.

You see, Yor is on a quest for self-discovery. For as long as he can remember, he’s been wearing this medallion made of who-knows-what. In fact, people he meets are always asking him what it’s made of, and his answer is always a wistful “I wish I knew.” It looks a lot like a jumbo piece of gelt that one would win in a particularly high-stakes game of dreydel, but I don’t think society has evolved so far as to have invented dreydels quite yet on this planet.

Along the way, Yor and his posse keep getting attacked by these guys from the bad tribe. They dress in black furs and paint their faces purple. They also grunt a lot. However, Yor still manages to elude them (plus a couple of dinosaurs) and find the secret island that was once ruled by his people…

I won’t spoil the ending, but let’s just say it ‘s an epic battle of Good vs. an Evil guy who constantly spouts lengthy soliloquies to his robot army (he’s trying to breed the “Master Race” which is part genetically modified human and part robot). Note to guy: robots don’t have feelings, and probably don’t care about your trials and tribulations, and how hard it is being Overlord (that’s really his name).

Even though this movie has absolutely no cinematically redeeming qualities (although one of the guys from the Island of the Aryans is kinda cute), it is definitely fun to watch. if you’re looking for things to round out your “worst movie ever made, yet in a fun way” collection– this one is a must.

3 Responses to “Yor, Hunter From the Future”

  1. […] Let’s see… what happened today? I watched Yor, Hunter From the Future with Jared–that was pretty sweet. I made Snoopy Sno-Cones. They were tasty. What else? Nothing, really. […]

  2. jaykayess says:

    Don’t forget the sequel “Yor: Les Chausseurs du Futur”.

  3. Scott says:

    The robots look like Darth Vader! One guy uses a giant dead bat for a hang glider!

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