CineBad!!!

Starring: Divine, Tab Hunter
Although Divine stars in this movie, it’s not a John Waters film. It’s too bad, because it ultimately falls short of the master. It’s not a complete bust, however.
Divine plays a hapless young maiden who sets out across the desert to a find her fortune in the town [...]

Starring: Agnetha, Benny, Anni-Frid, Bjorn
Until I rented this tape, I, like many other young Americans of my age, had never fully experienced the concept of ABBA. I own the ABBA Gold CD; I’ve sat and stalwartly refused to dance to “Dancing Queen” at many a nightclub, and yet I really had no idea [...]

Starring: Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman
This movie was very, very bad. They did a bad, bad thing. I don’t even know where to begin. Usually, we here at MGotD make a point of not being overly bitchy about bad movies. We like bad movies, after all. But then again, rules were made to be [...]

Starring: Charlton Heston
It’s the year 2022 and the population of New York is 40 million people! People are forced to do things like sleep on staircases and eat little freeze-dried wafers of food made by the Soylent corporation. Soylent comes in three flavors: Red, Yellow, and Green, but Green is what people [...]

Starring: Charlton Heston, Rosalind Cash
Welcome to the so-called future, where little scraps of paper blow through the empty streets of LA! (I think that was supposed to make LA seem deserted, but they kind of overdid it.) Anyway, as you can imagine, germ warfare has all but destroyed mankind. The lone survivor, [...]

Starring: Jason Patric, Jami Gertz
How could I resist “spectacular sci-fi action and adventure on blazing skates?!” The Solarbabies are “the far-off future’s spunkiest group of roller-skating rowdies!”

It’s the year 41 (you know, the year 41 in the far-off future) and the Earth is a post-apocalyptic desert starved of water. The few [...]

Starring: Bette Davis, Disney Kids
Tony and Tia are baaa-ack! The film starts as Uncle Benet unleashes the alien duo on an unsuspecting San Francisco, to learn more about the human race. What better way to educate fourteen-year-old kids than to dump them in the middle of a major city, alone! Anyway, it [...]

Starring: Edith Massey
When I heard that this film existed, I could hardly believe it! It does exist and it far exceeds all of my wildest cheesy dreams. I have no idea where or if you can rent it on tape, so watch it if you can!

The year: 1975. The scene: a [...]

Starring: Patricia McCormack
Wouldn’t it be nice to have a Mommy who would stick up for you? A Mommy who would kill the teacher who gave you a B-? Little Jessica-Anne loves her Mommy, and her Mommy loves… blood!
This movie stars the chick from the Bad Seed as a Tipper Gore -esque [...]

Starring: Divine
Someone told you that John Waters is cool and you want to see all his films! If only you could see all of John Waters’ films, then you would be a fascinating, intelligent person who would act hip at parties. Well, feel free to skip this John Waters film!
This highly [...]

Starring: Divine
Divine stars in this flick about a travelling circus of freaks that gets dead-ended in Baltimore. When hapless passers-by stop to admire the show, they get mugged by the performers. Soon Divine’s cohorts turn against her, and she’s out on the street. Divine discovers her lesbian side– but too late, as [...]

Starring: Jennifer Aniston
What happens when a recently-dumped gay guy moves in with a straight girl he just met? They decide to raise a kid, of course!
Jennifer Aniston, the woman who spawned the haircut of a generation, wanders around in a nightmare of co-dependence, as her roommate falls for some weird guy [...]

Form of a Plot Device! Shape of a Fight Scene! Starring: Hugh Jackman, Anna Paquin, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Bruce Davison
In the not-so-distant future, pollution caused by the Atomic Age has triggered the so-called “X-Factor” in humans, a genetic sequence that triggers useful and glamorous mutations. People with this X-Factor develop [...]

Richard Simmons wishes he saw this much action! Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, John Travolta, Laraine Newman, Jann Wenner

When Rolling Stone bad-boy reporter Adam Lawrence (Travolta) decides to do a steamy exposee on California health clubs, revealing them to be the torried cesspolls of cheap sex and drugs that they are, he didn’t [...]

Starring: Dolly Read, Cynthia Myers, Marcia McBroom

This is the story of the Kelly Effect, a small-town rockin’ girl band that just wants to make it in the City of Fallen Angels, LA. The band’s frontwoman, Kelly, has a long-lost Aunt in LA with a $1,000,000 inheritance that Kelly might just get a [...]

Glimpse into a bright orange future. Starring: James Caan
Oof! Let me say right now that we only watched half of this movie! It was too boring! It’s actually very rare that we turn a video off before it’s finished– but this one was an exception! Maybe we would have enjoyed this film [...]

Honorabur Seeclet Agent Man brow up mountain-san of Evil! Starring: Patrick McGoohan
Ah so! Ancient cult of Death velly evil! This movie velly cheesy! Secret Agent man Mr. Drake save Japanese fishing village by browing up secret mountain lair of evil!
The movie begins with a crowded Tokyo street. [...]

Starring: Carol Kane, Molly Ringwald, Jeanne Tripplehorn
I debated reviewing this move, because it’s not really “bad.” It is however, extremely cheesy, and should prove extremely entertaining for the sick mind! Plus, when I discovered that Carol Kane had an uncredited appearance in Disney’s The Gnome Mobile (as, “Married Gnome,”) I knew that this [...]

An all-star cast plunge to their deaths! Starring: Karen Black, Charlton Heston
Is it just me, or is Auto Pilot the most amazing invention ever devised by mankind? I only ask, because even when a small private plane crashes head-first into a 747, the autopilot nonetheless manages to keep the plane aloft for [...]

Starring: Prince, Apollonia Kotero
The film is obviously a must for fans of The Once and Future Price (aka the artist formerly known as “The Artist Formerly Known as Prince”) but I’ll admit that Scooter and I rented it just to flesh out our new “Rock ‘n Roll” genre. Still, Purple Rain was a [...]