CineBad!!!

Funky Fresh, Munchkin Style Starring: Diana Ross, Nipsy Russell, Michael Jackson, Richard Pryor This is such an awesome movie; I can’t believe that more people don’t remember it. I have vivid recollections of watching this on Showtime when I was a kid (back then there was a box that sat on the TV, and you [...]

You’ve got quite a ‘tude, man! Starring: Joan Jett, Michael J. Fox, Gena Rowlands “You’ve got quite a ‘tude, man. You should start a band and call it The Attitude.” Yes, it’s Joan Jett, in all her macho badass self, telling off Michael J. Fox. I actually liked this film a lot, although it was [...]

Hey, man, you’re whacked! Starring: Philip Michael Thomas, Rosalind Cash, Vernee Watson-Johnson No, they didn’t actually say this in the film, but I was sorely tempted to yell it at Scooter while we were watching “Death Drug.” This is the story of Mr. Tubbs from Miami Vice battling the drug WHACK– not the same as [...]

Here’s a plot synopsis- two guys drive around the country on choppers. They do a lot of drugs. We see the countryside fly by as Baby Boomer music pours forth. Um, what more can I say? I understand now. I understand, man! This is a movie that shaped a generation, man! Now I know why [...]

OK, Grease is the word, but what does it have to do with the movie? Starring: Olivia Newton-John, John Travolta, Stockard Channing From the opening scene on a beach where star-crossed lovers frolic in the waves to a cheesy rendition of “Love is a Many-Splendored Thing”, to the end where they drive off into the [...]

Starring: Agnetha, Benny, Anni-Frid, Bjorn Until I rented this tape, I, like many other young Americans of my age, had never fully experienced the concept of ABBA. I own the ABBA Gold CD; I’ve sat and stalwartly refused to dance to “Dancing Queen” at many a nightclub, and yet I really had no idea exactly [...]

Starring: Kevin Bacon, John Lithgow, Lori Singer Footloose (Kevin Bacon, John Lithgow, Lori Singer) 3.5 cheeses 1984 Rock n Roll Imagine a town where nobody has heard of the band The Police. Nobody rocks, rolls, dances, or does anything fun at all. The main past time is playing ‘chicken’ on tractors. When Ren McCormack (Bacon) [...]

Starring: Kevin Costner, Whitney Houston Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston make the World’s Most Unbelievable Couple in a movie (I think they received an Oscar nomination for this fact) in this tale of love, betrayal, and Rock n’ Roll. Frank Farmer (Costner) is a former government security guard who now designs security systems for people. [...]

Starring: Justine Bateman, Liam Neeson, Julia Roberts Justine Bateman is Jennie Lee, the valedictorian of her high school class, with two things on her mind- to rock and to roll. She also wants to have fun. She and her oddball friends have a band called Mystery, and are determined to rock their way to the [...]

Richard Simmons wishes he saw this much action! Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, John Travolta, Laraine Newman, Jann Wenner When Rolling Stone bad-boy reporter Adam Lawrence (Travolta) decides to do a steamy exposee on California health clubs, revealing them to be the torried cesspolls of cheap sex and drugs that they are, he didn’t count on [...]

Starring: Dolly Read, Cynthia Myers, Marcia McBroom This is the story of the Kelly Effect, a small-town rockin’ girl band that just wants to make it in the City of Fallen Angels, LA. The band’s frontwoman, Kelly, has a long-lost Aunt in LA with a $1,000,000 inheritance that Kelly might just get a cut of, [...]

Starring: Prince, Apollonia Kotero The film is obviously a must for fans of The Once and Future Price (aka the artist formerly known as “The Artist Formerly Known as Prince”) but I’ll admit that Scooter and I rented it just to flesh out our new “Rock ‘n Roll” genre. Still, Purple Rain was a nice [...]

Starring: Tom Everett Scott, Tom Hanks, Liv Tyler This is a happy movie. people are usually very happy in it. There is no conflict to speak of, and no bad words or nudity. I’m not saying that a movie has to have violence and swearing in order to be good, I’m just telling you this [...]

Starring: Olivia Newton-John I have a vivid memory of this movie from my childhood. There was a bomb threat at my Middle School, and the teachers herded us all into the auditorium and made us watch Xanadu while the police scoured the building for devices. While I can’t make any promises about my memory, I [...]